How to know when to change your life

We’ve all been there. I call it the “Delirium Dreaders,” a condition we’ve all had at one point or another.

A relationship that is over, but no one wants to call it. A workplace that has more managers and CEOs than actual workers where your ONLY job is to make the “talking heads” look good. Perhaps you’re stuck with a lousy job description that requires the skill set of a “form filler outer” conveniently sucking all the creative life blood from your veins. Maybe it’s when you attended that extended family  BBQ (cookout)  filled with distant relatives who continuously asked you if you are getting married, having that baby, or bought a house yet. Worse yet, your counsellor/psychologist actually doses off when you’re pouring out your guts and still charges you a fortune for their time.

If it weren’t for the fear of being blamed, shamed or ridiculed what would you choose? This is a strategic question coaches ask, that I would encourage you to ask yourself.

• If you weren’t afraid of being blamed how would you handle your current relationship?
• If you weren’t afraid of being shamed by work or family what choices would you make?
• If you weren’t afraid of making your own decisions without the approval of family or counsellors what would you do?

Would you end that painful relationship if you truly felt you gave it your all? Would you look for new work that actually gave you life and tapped into your creative self along with your uncanny problems solving capacity? Would you reframe and redirect conversations with relatives so that instead of feeling “less than” you felt more in control and proud of yourself? Would you fire your current counsellor/psychologist and find a more suitable way of rounding up support? You have more going for you than you realize.

Next time you find yourself suffering from Delirium Dreaders try asking yourself questions to expose your fears. No one has the right to blame/judge you, shame you or ridicule you. Don’t let them. You do not need the approval of others as much as you need your own self compassion and understanding.  Eventually you will realize they have zero power over you. You have choices and decisions to make. It was given to you as your God given human right.

You have a gift. Use it.

Until next time…

Lesley